On the Joyous Edge: Parenting Today's Children

Do You Have the Mindset for a Joyous Holiday?

The holidays are filled with numerous opportunities for sweet moments to fill your heart with joy. Here are five quick reminders to keep you focused in a positive direction.

Find the innocence in everyone’s eyes – your child’s, your partner’s, your parents or in-laws, those people with whom you share a passing interaction.

Share the amusement and laughter of an unexpected funny moment.

Seize the opportunity to spontaneously experience a new adventure with those you love.

Appreciate the amazing abundance of your life.

Do something luxurious to celebrate yourself. (This does not have to cost money.)

Look forward to the New Year with a profound commitment to yourself and your family to make the most of every moment you share together.

Joy and Love,

Connie

Remember How Important You Are As a Parent

To your child, whether she is 5 months, 15 or 25-years old, you are one of the most important people in the world. Forget this simple but profound truth, and you’ll fall short of the positive impact you can make in your child’s life.

Your actions, your beliefs, your way of doing things, your words ALL powerfully affect who your child becomes. Without consciously choosing to do so, your child takes on who you are. If you’re uptight and stressed much of the time, this affects your child’s beliefs about life; and he will unknowingly feel stressed himself.

If you raise your voice and speak angrily to your child and to others, your child will not only learn to raise her voice and speak angrily to others. She may feel insecure, resentful and even unloved with you.

Your child counts on you to be the best person and best parent you can be. He’s looking to you always for guidance about being a happy, successful person. Remember that EVERYTHING you do makes an impact in your child’s life—either for the better or the worse. You don’t have to be perfect. Just be as conscious as you can.

 

Take Action Quickly to Resolve Your Parenting Challenges and Concerns

As a parent, it’s important to recognize indicators of your child’s emotional distress. If you even suspect a concern, it’s important to take action quickly and to not allow these concerns to continue. Most likely they will not just naturally go away on their own. In fact, they’ll often lead to other emotional concerns and behavior difficulties for you and your child that will escalate as your child grows up.

Your child counts on you to recognize the indicators of her emotional distress and to take action. This is an important time to trust your intuition. If you feel perhaps you recognize a problem, there is a good chance you are correct.

When you allow your child to continue struggling when you see behaviors that concern you, he feels alone, unsupported, and insecure, and perhaps even unloved. Your child will show you when something isn’t okay emotionally, and he looks to you to know what to do about it.

Take action until the problem is resolved so you are both happy and fulfilled.

Reach for What You Really Want

One of our favorite experiences at Ghost Ranch was hiking back into a gorgeous red rock box canyon where I took this photo of Doug. It had been a fun and sometimes challenging hike up to this point, criss-crossing the creek on slippery rocks and climbing over and through large boulders.

Finally, we could see the end of the box canyon, but we weren’t quite there yet. Before us was a tall,

challenging pile of boulder, which I doubted my ability to scale. I decided we had gone far enough.

When Doug climbed on this ledge high above where we were standing, he could see the very end of the canyon. From his vantage point, he saw that getting all the way to the end of the trail was worth doing; and it seemed do-able. We decided to go for what we really wanted!

What followed was a delightful time of reaching, stretching, balancing, and maneuvering to reach the very end of the canyon. There we were surrounded by a high rock wall that folded back over us, wet with water seeping through the cracks, and a resonant echo to every sound we made. We loved it and were thrilled we did it!

When I see this photo of Doug taking a risk to get a better view, I am reminded how important it is to stretch yourself and go for what you truly want, even if you’re not sure if or how to do it. Boldness and courage are essential for a fulfilling, joyous family life. Settling for less than what you really want limits you or your child.

Every challenge in a family relationship is an opportunity to expand, grow as a person, and learn something new that will transform your life forever. What can you do this week to challenge yourself to stretch to have more of what you truly want to experience in your life?

Be Aware of Your Own Behavior More Than Your Child’s

As a parent, you know your behavior dramatically impacts your child’s behavior and life. Yet it seems so much easier to focus on your child’s behavior than it does to focus on your own. Yet it is your behavior, mind-set and emotional well-being that determine the parent you are and the kind of influence you have in your child’s life.

When you choose to focus on your own behavior first, you have greater clarity and insight to understand yourself and your child. Plus it is the one area in which you have the power to make a significant improvement in your child’s behavior and in your interactions with your child.

Put your attention on your own behavior first and discover the powerful positive difference you can make in your child’s life!